Sunday, January 13, 2008

Who'd Win in a Fight?

Over the Christmas Holiday, my dad and I got into a very important discussion about some action stars and their butt-kicking prowess. Several candidates were proposed, their merits debated, and we ultimately narrowed our list to the top three, but were unable to pick a winner. So, it got me thinking, who do you guys think is the biggest badass in film?

Now, before you answer, you should know the criteria that was considered and decided upon. First, pretty much no characters from before the 1900's, meaning no swords, axes, bows and arrows, etc. This means, no Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, no Maximus from Gladiator, and no William Wallace from Braveheart. We're talking hand-to-hand combat here. Second, no characters with extreme kung-fu or katate skills, which discounts Jet Li, Jackie Chan and, Uma Thurman's Bride in Kill Bill. Also, no characters who derived their fighting ability from a computer program (The Matrix), no characters who use lightsabers and the Force (Star Wars) and no characters that are actually machines (The Terminator).

I realize that many characters from the last 200 years would have access to guns, however, in our discussion, they do not factor into their fighting abilities: these characters have to be able to handle themselves admirably without a weapon, even if they do use a weapon at other times in their films. Also, their fighting abilities can't only be demonstrated in a professional sports capacity, such as Rocky or Russell Crowe in Cinderella Man.

Okay, now that we've got those guidelines out of the way, here are the top contenders my dad and I discussed:
  1. Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) in the Lethal Weapon series: Riggs is the renegade cop who handcuffs himself to an attempted suicide and forces him to jump. Put simply, Riggs is a little crazy. He is unafraid, able to survive the worst hits (like a chestful of bullets in Lethal Weapon 2), and shows plenty of hand-to-hand skill is his fight with Mr. Joshua at the end of the first installment.
  2. Bud White (Russell Crowe) in L.A. Confidential: Bud is a dogged protector of women, going after their abusers with a fierceness bordering on derangement. His technique is not the most refined of the group, but the relentless intensity behind it is usually enough to bring him out on top.
  3. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) in the Indiana Jones series: I have a certain affection for this weary, beleaguered treasure-hunter. To be fair, I don't think his fighting skills are on par with the rest of our nominees, but he does have a way of surviving based on his intelligence and his feisty refusal to die.
  4. Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) in Fight Club: Whether he exists in Edward Norton's body or Brad Pitt's, this character is unafraid to lose and desires the pain. Again, a little nuttiness goes a long way and I know I wouldn't want to come up against this guy, especially when he's in Brad Pitt's extremely chiseled body.
  5. Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) in the Bourne series: It almost seems unfair to put him on the list. He is a trained assassin and has an almost Pavlovian response to combat (unlike Riggs, who does have Special Forces training, but not at this level). Bourne can kill you with a magazine for God's sake! He is undoubtedly the best fighter, but I wonder whether it's unjust to put him on this list. Could the others' craziness even compete?
  6. John McClane (Bruce Willis) in the Die Hard series: Well, firstly, he's played by Bruce Willis, the most badass actor on this list. Second, he manages to take down entire terrorist organizations while running around on bloody-pulped feet. McClane is just the scrappiest guy on this list and like a cockroach, I have no doubt he will always pull through. Plus, he has the coolest catch-phrase!
  7. James Bond (Sean Connery or Daniel Craig) in Bond series: Connery suffers unfairly for the early fight coordinators, but he was always the most masculine James Bond. That is, until Daniel Craig came along. Craig has the requisite intensity and burliness as well as the fight pedigree. And any man that can survive the rope to the balls torture without breaking has got a little something special.
So there you have my list of contenders. Please post and lemme know what you think. Also, don't be afraid to speak up with options I may have forgotten or overlooked! I want the most comprehensive list possible, if we're gonna be fair. Please enjoy!

9 comments:

Heather said...

Wow. This is hard. I am going to have to take some time to think this through. I'm not really convinced of any of these options yet.

What about Arnold Schwartzenager in Kingdergarden Cop? (heheheh)

I'll be back after I've had time to process this.

Heather said...

Okay, a few more ideas that I didn't want to forget.

Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting - Um, did you see how he took it out on his kindergarden nemesis?

Will Smith in Independence Day - Knocked out an Alien.

King Kong in King Kong - Fought 3 T-Rex at once, and you didn't mention any rules about Giant Gorillas.

Damon said...

Rocky Balboa. He beat the shit out of Mr.T, Hulk Hogan in the same movie.

Heather said...

Damon. Didn't you read the rules? Rocky is already disqualified.

Al the Gal said...

Okay, giant Gorillas, and other animals, are disqualified.

I did think of Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, but I think he'd get creamed by most of these guys (probably not Indiana Jones though).

Will Smith in Independence day...maybe, but there's not a real extended fight there. Most of my nominees have a 3-5 minute extended fight scene at least once and they really get to show their endurance. I believe Will Smith is capable of almost anything, but I don't know if the evidence is there on this one.

And Damon, the NO BOXERS rule was specifically mentioned because I somehow KNEW you'd say Rocky Balboa. Those are organized fights with rules and training. I want down and dirty shit.

Al the Gal said...

Damon, conciliatory gesture - you can't vote for Rocky, but you can vote for John Rambo. He's badass.

Damon said...

how about Sigourney Weaver in the Aliens saga?

Al the Gal said...

That's a pretty good one. I haven't seen any of those films is a really long time, so I don't remember her style. She is just about the biggest female badass of all time. I like that one!

Heather said...

Oh nice, I was trying to think of a girl that could contend in this category.