Last night's episode was kind of a disaster. And apparently the show is skipping over February sweeps and coming back in March instead. Interesting. Jacob said it best: "Not exactly a high note to leave on, but the show's been off its game -- and seemingly rewriting itself every week -- since around the time Jack showed up. I'm willing to wait for it to right itself." Right there with you, buddy.
I hate Ms. Carr. I hate her tiny face and her big, innocent doe-eyes, and the way she seems incapable of realizing that even though she wasn't fucking her student (yet), privately meeting him in secluded coffee shops all over town is not appropriate! Letting him and Serena call you "Rachel" is not appropriate. You're crossing lines all over the place here, lady, and encouraging Dan to continue writing and praising his unimaginative, hack short stories definitely counts as a crime against humanity! And both you and Dan need to grow up and stop accusing the Internet of slander for posting a rumor that has a partial basis in reality. No one was in danger of getting fired until you brought it to the Headmistress. GOD!
Jacob had this amazing thing to say about the commencement of Dan and Ms. Carr's affair: "Then, at this precise moment in time that they are boning Letourneau style, the Doppelqueller decides not to fire Rachel after all, and Serena decides for the one billionth time that she didn't actually mean to break up with Dan, so by their own actions they have turned him and Rachel into an entire episode of Tyra without their knowledge, which means that once again Dan is fucking it up for everybody, but this time it is awesome because he's not even doing anything bad, and nobody even knows that the thing that was made up at the beginning of the episode is now totally true, just because Blair Waldorf imagined it hard enough. This is why you don't fuck with Blair Waldorf: she can actually will you into being a pedophile."
SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR RETURN:
When Blair promises to go "black ops" that should mean something better than sending the same old shit to Gossip Girl.
Rufus - get over yourself. It's your fault Dan is so horrible.
Blair needs a big, messy meltdown, stat!
Apparently Chuck has also been banished to the world of non-existent storylines involving no major characters and no interesting information along with Nate and Vanessa. Please reincorporate these characters into the show - you know, the one at high school, where they know other people like Serena and Blair and Jenny. (Honestly, that Eyes Wide Shut parody was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. Don't do that to my Chuck!)
Winner: Again, nothing crazy. But he does look damn sharp in this black, velour suit and navy shirt. It's better than his storyline.
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